Author Archive for Adam

College Repeats

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Adam
on August 19, 2008
in Ramblings and School
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My college exams repeats were never going to be plain sailing given that Maths and Stats were two of the subjects that I’m repeating! I’ve never enjoyed either subject and would prefer to have a dog lock onto my ankle than sit down and do calculations! All I’ve ever aimed for is that damn 40 percent… the magic, if not less than average number that will see me propel into second year of college!

I most definitely did myself no favours yesterday morning for my 9am Stats exam. Before I went to bed, I decided to have a look at a few notes and see if I could remember anything only to find out that I didn’t actually have any notes. Not disastrous, I could simply check online for notes from other colleges! Well, I could if my internet wasn’t down every 5 minutes! So I actually got nothing done except for meticulously lay everything I needed beside my bed so I could simply grab and go in the morning!

Naturally, I woke up late, 15 minutes before my exam was going to start! I jumped out of bed to get dressed but landed straight on my calculator smashing the thing into a few pieces! I had a root around the house looking for another calculator but to no avail! I arrived at the exam hall just in time, but I wonder should I have bothered because there I was sitting down at a desk trying to calculate the standard deviation using nothing but my head! Sure I don’t even know what Standard Deviation is!

I need only pass one exam (of the three I have to repeat) to continue into second year so I’ve stocked up on Maths books to try and learn what I can over the next week! Not tonight though, I’m going out… and tomorrow for that matter. I’m sure I’ll find some time to study though….

Waterford City - Dangerous Stuff

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Adam
on August 17, 2008
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Tonight, Waterford City erupted! I had always assumed it was a safe place to work and live but the recent traveller feuds really have put Waterford City on the map, and for all the wrong reasons! At around 10pm, I finished work. I had heard some talk from a few people speaking of travellers in John St, which is about a 5 minute walk away from where I work. Travellers by themselves aren’t really something to be worried about, but when they’re involved in a feud which has already seen people wind up dead, it kind of makes you want to duck for cover!

I had heard of all this trouble, so I decided to leave via the front entrance of where I work only to find myself immediately calling for managers left right and centre as several knackers were trying to get in! Our general manager held them off until the other (male) managers arrived on the scene! She really deserves a lot of credit for keeping the place out of trouble for the night which is more that can be said for other areas of the town!

Shots were fired was what I was being told in the Taxi journey home. Shortly afterwards, the John St area of the city was blocked off to everyone, which obviously affected business while at the same time broadcasting that what had happened was very, very serious! I had a friend working in the very middle of it all who had quite the story to tell that involved a loud crashing sound and then he saw a Garda van full of bullet holes in the middle of the city!

Things seemed to quieten down after that, but of course they would with every single emergency unit in the South East being on high alert. There have been reports of people hanging themselves and cars being burnt in some of the estates in the city but I’ve heard nothing more than that! If all the stories turn out to be true then I have no doubt that Waterford will wake up a different City to the one it was earlier…

I need sleep!

Published
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Adam
on August 6, 2008
in Life and Ramblings
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It has been a hectic few days to say the least. I spent the entire weekend being arguably at the wrong side of the bar - that is to say I was behind it rather than in front of it shouting slurred orders! To say we were busy would be an understatement as we experienced a seemingly endless stream of customers coming into us, and I’m not talking about a nice comfortable trickling stream, I mean a “hold on for dear life” rapids kind of stream!

Despite complaining to everyone who would listen that I was stuck behind a bar all day, it wasn’t all that bad! While being stuck making lattes, cappuccinos and frapamachiattes (okay, I made that one up) for customers soon lost it’s charm, I was able to make enough money in tips to pay for my nights out in the Forum on Friday, Saturday and Sunday! I was working all three days of the festival and managed to go out as well… for free! I like free!

All this fun comes at a price though! Whenever I go out, I have a horrible habit of waking up at 10am the following morning. While it’s sometimes nice to savour the beautiful morning air, it’s pretty annoying when you had just stumbled into bed in a sorry state a mere 3 hours beforehand! Going into work on Sunday, I was already knackered. I was due to stay on until 2am, but decided against taking a break during the shift so I could leave half an hour early and go to the forum. A great idea you might be thinking, but I can assure you that any idea or plan that involves not taking a break during the busiest day of the year and going out and getting hammered is not recommended, especially when you’re due in at 9am the following day!

Despite getting to the forum at 1:45, I managed to drink myself silly thanks of course to the generosity of the Waterford public (oh how I love them!). Crawling into bed at 6am meant I didn’t have much time to sleep! In fact, I managed to get an hour of sleep before 1 of my 6 alarms I had set started going off! I somehow got into work on time to find that I was stocktaking for the morning which involved counting every single bottle of beer in the bar. Just what I needed at 9 in the morning with the eyes popping out of my head!

If 8 hours of counting bottles wasn’t bad enough, I then had to face another 7 hours dealing cards in Dungarvan. I can tell you that it took a lot of Red Bull just to be able to remain concious and it took every bit of mental strength I had left to be able to do my job! By time I got home at 6am, I collapsed into my bed and pretty much fell asleep straight away. I woke up one hour later to the sound of the postman at the door who wanted me to sign for some DVDs that I ordered online about two months a go! Now that I was awake I decided to watch Eyes Wide Shut, an appropriate film for the state I was in but I don’t think I understood what was going on as I was so tired. The only thing I remember is that there are a lot of boobs in it!

So here I am, laying on my bed complaining about needing sleep! You’d think I’d just put down the laptop and rest my eyes and drift into slumber land, but it’s not that easy as I’m so tired, it hurts to close my eyes! If I stay away much longer I’ll soon lose what little sanity I have left!

I danced to an accordian!

Published
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Adam
on August 2, 2008
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Today saw the launch of Spraoi - the single biggest festival held in Waterford each year! It’s where Waterford’s alternative side is allowed to shine and where Waterford as a whole celebrates its uniqueness within the South East. Street shows await all those who make the trip into town, but unfortunately for me, I’m stuck in work for the majority of it all!

Tonight,however, saw me use up what little spare time I had to go to the forum, which is Waterford’s alternative night spot. I fit right in, with my formal short and jeans. Fit in like an arse on an elbow that is! There were a few bands playing. In fact when we arrived we were convinced the place was empty, but in actuality there was a band playing, that band had a digeredoo, or whatever it’s called and I think the most they had on the floor was about five, and all of them were actually on their way to the toilets!

The second band on stage weren’t all that bad! They reminded me of Bob Dylan and I admit that I was drunk enough to throw myself around the place to every beat and riff. Don’t even ask me how I danced to an accordian or mouth organ, but it was fun nonetheless! It wasn’t until they started playing covers of classics that the dancefloor filled up. I can’t remember a single song they played though, only that the lead singers voice was good, despite his atrocious English accent which was hillarious to listen to in between songs!

Finally Ilya K came on, I’ve only ever seen them twice before this but each and every time they impressed me. Their sheer energy resonated to each and every person in the building and I couldn’t help but stand on in awe (and in a drunken stupor) and watch the masters in work! This band really deserves big things to happen to them!

I finally stumbled in the door at 4am, just glad to have found my house! I’ll cast my hangover aside and head into town because I don’t want to miss Spraoi for the 3rd year in a row!

150 or a broken nose!

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Adam
on July 22, 2008
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“€150 or a broken nose”. Just one, of very few quotes I remember from last night! We decided at around 8pm to try find an Irish pub. I don’t know what it is about the Irish and our tendency to gravitate towards overpriced pubs whose claim to be Irish is just an excuse to charge us more! Thankfully we ran into a few Irish people who were only too happy to buy us drinks all night! That’s about as good as my night got though!

Fast forward a few hours and we were stumbling out of this all you can drink bar. Well, the lads stumbled out, I had some black bouncer drag me out after he jumped in over a toilet cubicle to get me while going for a piss… or get sick, I can’t really remember! Apparently you can only stay an hour but I think I managed to drink back my €45 in that time.

Only one more day to go. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing!

A Red Light District Adventure

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Adam
on July 21, 2008
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Having all be up for in excess of 24 hours, we decided to have a quick snooze before heading out to sample the delights of Amsterdam, but to be more specific, the delights of the infamous Red Light District!

One of our first destinations was a coffee shop but somehow we managed to walk into probably the only coffee shop in Amsterdam that only sells coffee and doesn’t allow smoking! At least coffee is cheap here… but at the same time ridiculously overpriced given how much it costs them to make!

We eventually found a genuine coffee shop and found ourselves being led down a basement which is where the magic happens. Even though the place was a legit as such a place can be, I couldn’t help but fear we had stumbled upon some strange sex club and were about to be given the Pulp Fiction treatment!

Afterwards, we went from alley to alley and no matter what street we were on, we found ourselves in a giftshop of some sort. I think we’ve stocked up on enough novelty t-shirts, keyrings and mugs to not give to our own families, but pass on to further generations as well! We met a lovely couple from Cork who were telling us their story… then they tried to sell us drugs! After we declined their kind offer, they warned us not to buy anything off of the blacks as they’ll only try to rip us off! I think that’s called sour grapes rather than actually caring!

We’ve only seen the real Amsterdam on one or two occassions, when we unwittingly wandered outside of the Red Light District! I’m hoping that tomorrow I’ll go explore. The weather will have to be better though as it’s done nothing but rain since we got here. The only sun we saw was at 30,000ft… and I don’t think I can get that high…

5 hours early and still queuing!

Published
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Adam
on July 20, 2008
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It could only happen to us! We arrived at Belfast International Airport 5 hours before check in having somehow missed the clearly sign posted bypass and made our own way to the airport by driving through village after village. Despite the fact that at one point we thought we were the only people on the Amsterdam flight, we still managed to find ourselves at the back of a long queue!

Thankfully we weren’t kept waiting for long and the check-in ladies were hot enough to pass the time. We were somewhat late for check-in because we found a bar serving at 4am. We must’ve been on our 4th pint by time we stumbled upon the check-in area! We boarded the flight and waited eagerly for the drinks trolley to come along! Even though we were flying through the air at 570mph, we still drank away, oblivious to the fact that it was still only 7am!

Needless to say, we were absolutely hammered landing in Schipol Airport and asked every single person in a high-vis jacket for directions, even the builders! What struck me straight away was that almost everyone has great English, and to think that I was going to bring a dictionary! While most people were happy to help, some people wanted money in exchange for the directions. It may have only been €2, but I didn’t want to pay for the privilege of being sent 5 miles in the wrong direction!

So you’ve probably guessed that I’ve arrived safely, which is always a good start to a holiday. No matter what way we leave the hotel, we have sex shows and coffee shops waiting to take our money… I can’t wait!

Getting to Amsterdam via Belfast!

Published
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Adam
on July 20, 2008
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During the week I decided it would be great to go to Amsterdam, y’know, to see the tulips and what not. Aer Arann now do flights out of Waterford airport direct to Amsterdam… but we’re flying from Belfast instead because the got them for dirt cheap and I didn’t complain because I wasn’t the one driving!

We left at 9pm and made it up to Belfast for 1am, in plenty time for our flight. Unfortunately we have a bit too much time on our hands and we find ourselves in an empty airport 5 hours before check in opens! It was beginning to seem a bit like Dawn of the Dead until people started showing up! The first sign of life was watching two porters having a wheelchair fight!

I spotted a Bank of Ireland ATM up here so I decided to take out some money here as I’m not sure my card works abroad. Here is where fatique becomes apparent because I simply assumed that because I was at a Bank of Ireland ATM, I was in Ireland! A naive assumption it was because I soon realised that I had just selected £200 in sterling!

In the middle of an empty airport with nothing to keep me occupied, I took my new found wad of crisp £20 notes and went straight into an arcade to try spin it up. I won £5, but that was after putting £20 into it! I’m such a degen!

Thankfully I’ve found Wifi which should keep me entertained until check in opens in a few hours. The only minor gripe I have about it is that I have to keep searching for signal by walking around holding my laptop open. This isn’t a problem now, because the place is empty and I could probably take off my clothes and start thinking about what’s going to happen in Amsterdam!

I’ll keep you updated!

You’re Gay, Now Suck My Cock

Published
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Adam
on July 13, 2008
in Life and Ramblings
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In order to let the dust settle and allow myself to settle my nerves… and ensure I didn’t go to jail, I decided on delaying this post for a while, because there’d be nothing worse than sharing this story of jubilation only to find a Garda at my doorstep the following day…

First I think I’d better clarify what I mean by the title. You’ll be glad to know (or perhaps you aren’t) that I’m not calling you a fudge packer and I don’t want you to suck my cock but instead I’m alluding to a little altercation I found myself caught up in when I was out last week that involved myself, my friends and some random drunk who whipped his lad out in front of me in the middle of town at 4am! What happened next was a fusion of homophobia and double vodkas!

We first met Mr X on our way back into town from the Forum, the alternative nightclub in Waterford. We were a little bit later than usual because I insisted on us waiting behind for a girl I had met that night only to discover that she had actually left in a taxi to only God knows where about a half an hour before the place closed! I didn’t even get her first name which goes to show how good I am at pulling!!! Mr X made the assumption that because one of the guys I was with on the way back had long hair, that we were all gay. I’m not quite certain whether or not he was gay himself, but he did demand that we all suck his cock!

I managed to ignore him for the best part of twenty minutes as he followed us all the way shouting at us like the prick he was, in part I’d like to say that I have great self-control, but in actual fact it was because I was eating chicken and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let HillBilly’s finest chicken go to waste over some fucktard. Finding out that I had ate all my chicken in record time pissed me off enough, but then I look over and find this guy coming over, pulling down his pants!

Now I’m not sure if it’s because I was annoyed that I had ran out of chicken, or because I didn’t want some guy whipping his cock out in front of us but I dropped what little food I had left onto the ground, put my head down and speared him to the ground! That’ll teach that knob not to whip it out in public! Unfortunately for me, as I was doing it, I remember that I’m in the middle of town and look up to see a squad car speeding towards me, and around 7 Gardaí sprinting up to us! I attempt to flee - well, walk away - but I’m called back by one of them!

I look across and tardo is being bundled into a Paddy Wagon and driven off into the distance and I’m almost certain that I’ll suffer a similar fate! To my surprise, I’m merely quizzed for a few minutes about what happened before being told that I was lucky that they saw what was happening and was asked to give my name and number… not even an address! I’m given a warning and am send on my way. My friends can’t believe what just happened - I attack someone to the ground, in what would have looked like an unprovoked attack to anyone else and instead it’s the guy who found himself on the wrong end of a shoulder charge that’s taken away to the station! Of course I’m not complaining!

I got home only to find myself locked out so I had to resort to sleeping in the garden. I then woke up a few hours later with my head spinning and puked up an entire chicken fillet burger with a lovely garnish of bile and vodka! If that wasn’t bad enough, I woke up a few hours after that with rain pissing down on me! Karma works in strange ways though!

My Friend Recession!

Published
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Adam
on July 12, 2008
in Ramblings and Rant
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For the past three years, I’ve been employed in industries which have been fairly reliant on people having money floating about! I’ve worked in a hotel since 2005 and have slowly seen its trade deteriorate! As of the beginning of this year, I’ve joined an industry that’s been very reliant on the Celtic Tiger, the poker industry! I have seen drastic changes to both industries in a short period of time and as the country starts to tighten their belts, I’m forced to follow!

Last year I’d be lucky to go a day without a bus load of medicated Americans pulling up at the door of the hotel. I don’t use the term medicated lightly, because I swear to God they each have one suitcase for nothing but medicine! If the fat bastards exercised every once in a while then they wouldn’t need as much…. just a thought! Anyway, rant aside, this year the hotel is dead. Barmen are scratching their balls instead of pulling pints, porters do nothing but fluff pillows and receptionists invent phone calls to keep themselves occupied. Last year the average wedding size was in the 200s, now we’re lucky to see weddings of a 100 grace the premises! I think a situation last week is the best example of how bad things are getting, I was in the bar for a function of 50 people for a Wedding Anniversary. After 6 hours, the total drinks bill came to under €100. That’s an average spend of 33c per person per hour! You could argue that they weren’t heavy drinkers, but I alone would have spent €100 quid in 6 hours!

The poker industry in Ireland is something that on one hand can be said to be flourishing, but on the other can be said to be floundering. While record numbers of players are reportedly making a living from it, it’s clear that these are all established players. The amount of casual players is dwindling as they realise that it’s not just a bit of fun anymore as they lose their bollocks every week! Numbers are falling in all the major events and the recently announced IPO will be a real test of the feasibility of poker events in this country. Last year it attracted over 1000 players and with more significant marketing power behind it this year, they expect numbers to rise. Whether it will or not is the million dollar question.

I’m a bit worried that the only two industries that I’ve been involved in, are heavily reliant on a strong economy. Considering that seems to be going to shit, I wonder is a career change in order! Perhaps I’ll become an undertaker, I hear people are just dying to use their services…