Category: Ramblings


Red Lights Are Never Good

Filed Under: Geekiness, Ramblings
Feb.26, 2009

I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve been bitten by the Guitar Hero bug that’s caught hold of so many other people before me! While it’s mostly a party game to throw on when you have people around for beers and what not, some practice in your spare time doesn’t go astray! Let’s face it, none of us want to be that person who can’t even complete a song on Easy!

I was rocking out to Muse’s Knights of Cidonia, desperately trying to get my hand through what could well be considered a decent proposal for the “Finger Olympics”. All was going well, and I was really getting into it (banish all imagery of me alone and jumping up and down in my room from your minds please). All WAS going well until I experienced a sound that almost convinced me that I had just stood on the tails of a thousand cats!

I looked around… no cats. I looked back at the TV and the solo that I was well on my way to nailing had paused on my screen. And still there was the screeching! I assumed it was just one of your average system crashes so I put down the guitar for a moment and restarted the Xbox. Nothing. Nothing but a flashing beam of red light that is. I nearly didn’t want to have a closer look, afraid of what I was going to see. I suspect that I felt the same way a driver feels during those few seconds when they realise they’ve just hit a dog only my own experience was going to be far less gory to face – but just as painful!

Sure enough, 3 flashing red lights greeted me when I turned around the Xbox to have a look. I wasn’t quite sure what the 3 red lights meant exactly beyond the fairly obvious fact that it was fucked! Luckily for me, 360s have a three year warranty to cover this very problem. Unluckily for me, or perhaps appropriate for me, I’m cheap and bought the 360 second hand and now I didn’t know where I stood with it. An afternoon of calling Microsoft and Gamestop didn’t really appeal to me but I knew that I had to, otherwise I’d just leave it on the long finger – a solution that I’ve grown far too fond of despite realising that it’s not really a solution at all!

That was two months a go.

In the two months that my 360 has been “resting” beside my TV gathering dust, I’ve learnt that GameStop won’t accept any responsibility because it’s past their own warranty. Not having a receipt doesn’t really help my case either and Microsoft refuse to even acknowledge that there’s a problem as the 360 is registered in someone elses name and for all they know, is stolen! They won’t do anything unless I can send them a picture of me, the xbox and the receipt – together, like one happy and broken family! Now I couldn’t even tell you where my Birth Cert is, let alone a receipt for something I bought nearly 2 years a go. I could check my bank statements to see when I bought it and then go into GameStop and ask for a copy of the receipt for be printed out but I need to enter in a code from my own secure code card to access my statements. A secure code card? Sounds important. Also sounds like something I’d lose as soon I get it!

So to bring you up to speed (and to remind myself of the hoops I have to jump through), I have to ring AIB to ask for a new Code Card. Fast forward a week and I’ll hopefully be able to check my statements online and discover when exactly I bought it. I can then get a receipt from GameStop and then send off all the documentation to Microsoft who’ll probably take a week to respond with something like “too blurry, send again”. When I finally get the all clear from Microsoft, I can ask them to send me out a box. When that arrives, I put my expensive brick into it and send it off to Germany where some technician is going to blow some air into it and declare it as being as good as new. Some weeks later, the courier will arrive at my door with the resurrected xbox and all order will be restored!

In reading back over that, it all sounds like an awful lot of effort to go through. I’ll even speculate that the prolonged exposure to red tape and bureaucracy could make me violently ill! It’s only a 360 for Christ’s sake. On the one hand, I shouldn’t be worrying about it too much, but on the other, I shouldn’t have to jump through more hoops than there are at Crufts just to get a replacement!

Fuck it, I’ll just get a new one.

Problem solved.

Now have a song.

read more

A Good Nights Sleep

Filed Under: Ramblings
Feb.26, 2009

As I’m sure anyone who’s ever accidentally stumbled online at 4am will know, I’m quite the nocturnal creature. I’m usually in bed by midnight, because to be honest I have nothing else better to be doing. I always find something to distract me though and the fact that I have my laptop beside me and more recently a Guitar Hero controller close to hand as well, only serves to ensure that I’m never asleep by anything that even resembles a civilised hour!

Over the weekend I found myself overcome with a brief bout of insomnia which saw me wander the streets of Waterford until 7am Sunday morning with nothing but the odd tumbleweed to keep me company. This was all after bringing a friend home who’d probably seen better days after leaving a club! You’d have thought that carrying dead weight for a mile would be enough to tire me out, but all it did was make me miss my beloved Apache Pizza and become so hungry that my stomach became a beatbox. Centra eventually opened at 7:15 and I fell into the trap of actually believing that they’d have the breakfast roll I was so desperately craving at the ready! Instead I settled on what was probably a three day old sandwich and set off on the trek home. If only I could sleep…

The walk home sure did make me tired. By time I got home, I felt as if my feet had not only worn through my socks but had also had a fair go at breaking down my shoes! I confess that at this stage, all I wanted to do was drop onto any surface that would support my weight and just hibernate until sometime around Christmas, it didn’t even have to be comfy – as long as I couldn’t roll off it or have it bite me, I was considering it! However, two things kept me from drifting off into slumber land. 1) I was due to work in a few hours and 2) I spent the last tenner I had in my wallet on that blasted gone off sandwich! So my choices were somewhat limited. I could either stop, drop and fall unconscious for about 14 hours and worry about having to live off the crumbs in between the cushions of my couch for the rest of the week when it came to it, or I could “play through the pain” and fire up the Xbox for a few hours before heading to work with a flask of coffee so strong that it would have the consistency and taste of tar! I chose the latter, albeit without the flask.

Now the first few hours weren’t actually that bad. In fact, I even text one of my friends who I knew was lumbered with an early shift, boasting that I had it easy, doing nothing but sitting down on MSN while every now and again signing someone up to Ladbrokes. I couldn’t help but laugh when they text back saying that they were running around with trays of drinks and food with the sweat pouring out of them! God almighty must have been watching though, because seconds later my boss came over and sent me in to deal on a table! Oh Christ! At this stage I could barely even remember my name, let alone how to deal cards! In fact, on the very first hand I sat in, I collected the antes from the table before dealing out a flop. “We’re all playing the board so?” I heard one player say, somewhat inquisitively as it dawned on me that I hadn’t even dealt cards to the players! Now usually these situations go from bad to worse but this was rock bottom and I figured that things could only get better. They just had to!

How I struggled through the next few hours is beyond me! I was just cruising through the night on autopilot, in desperate yet rapidly waining hope that someone would spot that I looked to be aging at a rate of 10 years for every hour I sat in that dealer chair robotically calling out the words “Pass”, “Fold” and “Raise” over and over again. What I had at one stage would have been at most a 5 hour shift was fast approaching 14 hours! It was at this stage that I really started to regret boasting about my “easy shift” earlier on. It was only then that I decided that I should ask to go home. 10 minutes later and I was home and taking off my clothes with my trusty bed just inches away, inviting me in. I’m sure you’re aware of the old cliche of falling asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow, well here’s a new one for you; My head didn’t even have to hit to pillow to fall asleep! I know it doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue but the very fact that I still had one sock on the next morning means I’m not making it up!

I managed to squeeze every bit of sleep out of this occasion as I possibly could and I finally woke up 15 hours later, which was probably the total combined amount of sleep I had got the week before! My only complaint (oh here he goes again) was that I had these really vivid dreams that were about Saturday night which in itself isn’t too bad, as long as I can remember that they were dreams, but roll on a few days and I completely forget which had led to a few “Did I?” moments complete with temporary paralysis that lasts a few seconds when I look back at the night! The trick is to not think about that night though and I’m near certain that the copious amounts of tequila that I intend to throw back (but hopefully not up) this Saturday will see to it that last weekend (and the vivid, freaky memories) becomes a thing of the past!

After waking up and looking at the time, I quickly realised that college that day was a non-runner, especially given that it was 6pm. I was still quite tired so I just took it easy for what was left of the day and I managed to fall asleep for midnight Surely a record for me! And then, something strange happened to me when I woke this morning after getting another good nights sleep. I felt oddly energetic, enthusiastic and dare I say it, happy! Perhaps 4 hours a night isn’t enough after all! Making college in time for my first lecture will probably go down as one of my milestones of the year. It wasn’t the rush in at the last minute type of punctual either as I even had time to get breakfast – another first!

This evening I played in my regular 5-a-side game and for the first time since the games inception, I wasn’t begging to go on goal after 5 minutes of play. It was as if I had a giant Duracell stuck to my back and I even jogged home because I fancied the work out. Can I really put all this down to getting sleep? Well, it’s either that or I’m drinking some funny water!

I’m going to conclude this post with something new to this blog – a song. A song that I fully believe will be both a chart topper AND an Indie floor filler this Summer. They’re a band called Phoenix, who seem to have a knack for releasing fantastically playable Summer soundtracks. This song is from their forthcoming album “Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix” and it’s called 1901. Enjoy!

Tags: , , , ,
read more

Waterford City – Dangerous Stuff

Filed Under: Ramblings
Aug.17, 2008

Tonight, Waterford City erupted! I had always assumed it was a safe place to work and live but the recent traveller feuds really have put Waterford City on the map, and for all the wrong reasons! At around 10pm, I finished work. I had heard some talk from a few people speaking of travellers in John St, which is about a 5 minute walk away from where I work. Travellers by themselves aren’t really something to be worried about, but when they’re involved in a feud which has already seen people wind up dead, it kind of makes you want to duck for cover!

I had heard of all this trouble, so I decided to leave via the front entrance of where I work only to find myself immediately calling for managers left right and centre as several knackers were trying to get in! Our general manager held them off until the other (male) managers arrived on the scene! She really deserves a lot of credit for keeping the place out of trouble for the night which is more that can be said for other areas of the town!

Shots were fired was what I was being told in the Taxi journey home. Shortly afterwards, the John St area of the city was blocked off to everyone, which obviously affected business while at the same time broadcasting that what had happened was very, very serious! I had a friend working in the very middle of it all who had quite the story to tell that involved a loud crashing sound and then he saw a Garda van full of bullet holes in the middle of the city!

Things seemed to quieten down after that, but of course they would with every single emergency unit in the South East being on high alert. There have been reports of people hanging themselves and cars being burnt in some of the estates in the city but I’ve heard nothing more than that! If all the stories turn out to be true then I have no doubt that Waterford will wake up a different City to the one it was earlier…

read more

I need sleep!

Filed Under: Life, Ramblings
Aug.06, 2008

It has been a hectic few days to say the least. I spent the entire weekend being arguably at the wrong side of the bar – that is to say I was behind it rather than in front of it shouting slurred orders! To say we were busy would be an understatement as we experienced a seemingly endless stream of customers coming into us, and I’m not talking about a nice comfortable trickling stream, I mean a “hold on for dear life” rapids kind of stream!

Despite complaining to everyone who would listen that I was stuck behind a bar all day, it wasn’t all that bad! While being stuck making lattes, cappuccinos and frapamachiattes (okay, I made that one up) for customers soon lost it’s charm, I was able to make enough money in tips to pay for my nights out in the Forum on Friday, Saturday and Sunday! I was working all three days of the festival and managed to go out as well… for free! I like free!

All this fun comes at a price though! Whenever I go out, I have a horrible habit of waking up at 10am the following morning. While it’s sometimes nice to savour the beautiful morning air, it’s pretty annoying when you had just stumbled into bed in a sorry state a mere 3 hours beforehand! Going into work on Sunday, I was already knackered. I was due to stay on until 2am, but decided against taking a break during the shift so I could leave half an hour early and go to the forum. A great idea you might be thinking, but I can assure you that any idea or plan that involves not taking a break during the busiest day of the year and going out and getting hammered is not recommended, especially when you’re due in at 9am the following day!

Despite getting to the forum at 1:45, I managed to drink myself silly thanks of course to the generosity of the Waterford public (oh how I love them!). Crawling into bed at 6am meant I didn’t have much time to sleep! In fact, I managed to get an hour of sleep before 1 of my 6 alarms I had set started going off! I somehow got into work on time to find that I was stocktaking for the morning which involved counting every single bottle of beer in the bar. Just what I needed at 9 in the morning with the eyes popping out of my head!

If 8 hours of counting bottles wasn’t bad enough, I then had to face another 7 hours dealing cards in Dungarvan. I can tell you that it took a lot of Red Bull just to be able to remain concious and it took every bit of mental strength I had left to be able to do my job! By time I got home at 6am, I collapsed into my bed and pretty much fell asleep straight away. I woke up one hour later to the sound of the postman at the door who wanted me to sign for some DVDs that I ordered online about two months a go! Now that I was awake I decided to watch Eyes Wide Shut, an appropriate film for the state I was in but I don’t think I understood what was going on as I was so tired. The only thing I remember is that there are a lot of boobs in it!

So here I am, laying on my bed complaining about needing sleep! You’d think I’d just put down the laptop and rest my eyes and drift into slumber land, but it’s not that easy as I’m so tired, it hurts to close my eyes! If I stay away much longer I’ll soon lose what little sanity I have left!

Tags: , , , , ,
read more

I danced to an accordian!

Filed Under: Ramblings
Aug.02, 2008

Today saw the launch of Spraoi – the single biggest festival held in Waterford each year! It’s where Waterford’s alternative side is allowed to shine and where Waterford as a whole celebrates its uniqueness within the South East. Street shows await all those who make the trip into town, but unfortunately for me, I’m stuck in work for the majority of it all!

Tonight,however, saw me use up what little spare time I had to go to the forum, which is Waterford’s alternative night spot. I fit right in, with my formal short and jeans. Fit in like an arse on an elbow that is! There were a few bands playing. In fact when we arrived we were convinced the place was empty, but in actuality there was a band playing, that band had a digeredoo, or whatever it’s called and I think the most they had on the floor was about five, and all of them were actually on their way to the toilets!

The second band on stage weren’t all that bad! They reminded me of Bob Dylan and I admit that I was drunk enough to throw myself around the place to every beat and riff. Don’t even ask me how I danced to an accordian or mouth organ, but it was fun nonetheless! It wasn’t until they started playing covers of classics that the dancefloor filled up. I can’t remember a single song they played though, only that the lead singers voice was good, despite his atrocious English accent which was hillarious to listen to in between songs!

Finally Ilya K came on, I’ve only ever seen them twice before this but each and every time they impressed me. Their sheer energy resonated to each and every person in the building and I couldn’t help but stand on in awe (and in a drunken stupor) and watch the masters in work! This band really deserves big things to happen to them!

I finally stumbled in the door at 4am, just glad to have found my house! I’ll cast my hangover aside and head into town because I don’t want to miss Spraoi for the 3rd year in a row!

read more

150 or a broken nose!

Filed Under: Ramblings
Jul.22, 2008

“€150 or a broken nose”. Just one, of very few quotes I remember from last night! We decided at around 8pm to try find an Irish pub. I don’t know what it is about the Irish and our tendency to gravitate towards overpriced pubs whose claim to be Irish is just an excuse to charge us more! Thankfully we ran into a few Irish people who were only too happy to buy us drinks all night! That’s about as good as my night got though!

Fast forward a few hours and we were stumbling out of this all you can drink bar. Well, the lads stumbled out, I had some black bouncer drag me out after he jumped in over a toilet cubicle to get me while going for a piss… or get sick, I can’t really remember! Apparently you can only stay an hour but I think I managed to drink back my €45 in that time.

Only one more day to go. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing!

Tags: , , , , ,
read more

A Red Light District Adventure

Filed Under: Ramblings
Jul.21, 2008

Having all be up for in excess of 24 hours, we decided to have a quick snooze before heading out to sample the delights of Amsterdam, but to be more specific, the delights of the infamous Red Light District!

One of our first destinations was a coffee shop but somehow we managed to walk into probably the only coffee shop in Amsterdam that only sells coffee and doesn’t allow smoking! At least coffee is cheap here… but at the same time ridiculously overpriced given how much it costs them to make!

We eventually found a genuine coffee shop and found ourselves being led down a basement which is where the magic happens. Even though the place was a legit as such a place can be, I couldn’t help but fear we had stumbled upon some strange sex club and were about to be given the Pulp Fiction treatment!

Afterwards, we went from alley to alley and no matter what street we were on, we found ourselves in a giftshop of some sort. I think we’ve stocked up on enough novelty t-shirts, keyrings and mugs to not give to our own families, but pass on to further generations as well! We met a lovely couple from Cork who were telling us their story… then they tried to sell us drugs! After we declined their kind offer, they warned us not to buy anything off of the blacks as they’ll only try to rip us off! I think that’s called sour grapes rather than actually caring!

We’ve only seen the real Amsterdam on one or two occassions, when we unwittingly wandered outside of the Red Light District! I’m hoping that tomorrow I’ll go explore. The weather will have to be better though as it’s done nothing but rain since we got here. The only sun we saw was at 30,000ft… and I don’t think I can get that high…

read more

5 hours early and still queuing!

Filed Under: Ramblings
Jul.20, 2008

It could only happen to us! We arrived at Belfast International Airport 5 hours before check in having somehow missed the clearly sign posted bypass and made our own way to the airport by driving through village after village. Despite the fact that at one point we thought we were the only people on the Amsterdam flight, we still managed to find ourselves at the back of a long queue!

Thankfully we weren’t kept waiting for long and the check-in ladies were hot enough to pass the time. We were somewhat late for check-in because we found a bar serving at 4am. We must’ve been on our 4th pint by time we stumbled upon the check-in area! We boarded the flight and waited eagerly for the drinks trolley to come along! Even though we were flying through the air at 570mph, we still drank away, oblivious to the fact that it was still only 7am!

Needless to say, we were absolutely hammered landing in Schipol Airport and asked every single person in a high-vis jacket for directions, even the builders! What struck me straight away was that almost everyone has great English, and to think that I was going to bring a dictionary! While most people were happy to help, some people wanted money in exchange for the directions. It may have only been €2, but I didn’t want to pay for the privilege of being sent 5 miles in the wrong direction!

So you’ve probably guessed that I’ve arrived safely, which is always a good start to a holiday. No matter what way we leave the hotel, we have sex shows and coffee shops waiting to take our money… I can’t wait!

Tags: , , , , , , ,
read more

Getting to Amsterdam via Belfast!

Filed Under: Life, Ramblings
Jul.20, 2008

During the week I decided it would be great to go to Amsterdam, y’know, to see the tulips and what not. Aer Arann now do flights out of Waterford airport direct to Amsterdam… but we’re flying from Belfast instead because the got them for dirt cheap and I didn’t complain because I wasn’t the one driving!

We left at 9pm and made it up to Belfast for 1am, in plenty time for our flight. Unfortunately we have a bit too much time on our hands and we find ourselves in an empty airport 5 hours before check in opens! It was beginning to seem a bit like Dawn of the Dead until people started showing up! The first sign of life was watching two porters having a wheelchair fight!

I spotted a Bank of Ireland ATM up here so I decided to take out some money here as I’m not sure my card works abroad. Here is where fatique becomes apparent because I simply assumed that because I was at a Bank of Ireland ATM, I was in Ireland! A naive assumption it was because I soon realised that I had just selected £200 in sterling!

In the middle of an empty airport with nothing to keep me occupied, I took my new found wad of crisp £20 notes and went straight into an arcade to try spin it up. I won £5, but that was after putting £20 into it! I’m such a degen!

Thankfully I’ve found Wifi which should keep me entertained until check in opens in a few hours. The only minor gripe I have about it is that I have to keep searching for signal by walking around holding my laptop open. This isn’t a problem now, because the place is empty and I could probably take off my clothes and start thinking about what’s going to happen in Amsterdam!

I’ll keep you updated!

Tags: , , , ,
read more

You’re Gay, Now Suck My Cock

Filed Under: Life, Ramblings
Jul.13, 2008

In order to let the dust settle and allow myself to settle my nerves… and ensure I didn’t go to jail, I decided on delaying this post for a while, because there’d be nothing worse than sharing this story of jubilation only to find a Garda at my doorstep the following day…

First I think I’d better clarify what I mean by the title. You’ll be glad to know (or perhaps you aren’t) that I’m not calling you a fudge packer and I don’t want you to suck my cock but instead I’m alluding to a little altercation I found myself caught up in when I was out last week that involved myself, my friends and some random drunk who whipped his lad out in front of me in the middle of town at 4am! What happened next was a fusion of homophobia and double vodkas!

We first met Mr X on our way back into town from the Forum, the alternative nightclub in Waterford. We were a little bit later than usual because I insisted on us waiting behind for a girl I had met that night only to discover that she had actually left in a taxi to only God knows where about a half an hour before the place closed! I didn’t even get her first name which goes to show how good I am at pulling!!! Mr X made the assumption that because one of the guys I was with on the way back had long hair, that we were all gay. I’m not quite certain whether or not he was gay himself, but he did demand that we all suck his cock!

I managed to ignore him for the best part of twenty minutes as he followed us all the way shouting at us like the prick he was, in part I’d like to say that I have great self-control, but in actual fact it was because I was eating chicken and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let HillBilly’s finest chicken go to waste over some fucktard. Finding out that I had ate all my chicken in record time pissed me off enough, but then I look over and find this guy coming over, pulling down his pants!

Now I’m not sure if it’s because I was annoyed that I had ran out of chicken, or because I didn’t want some guy whipping his cock out in front of us but I dropped what little food I had left onto the ground, put my head down and speared him to the ground! That’ll teach that knob not to whip it out in public! Unfortunately for me, as I was doing it, I remember that I’m in the middle of town and look up to see a squad car speeding towards me, and around 7 Gardaí sprinting up to us! I attempt to flee – well, walk away – but I’m called back by one of them!

I look across and tardo is being bundled into a Paddy Wagon and driven off into the distance and I’m almost certain that I’ll suffer a similar fate! To my surprise, I’m merely quizzed for a few minutes about what happened before being told that I was lucky that they saw what was happening and was asked to give my name and number… not even an address! I’m given a warning and am send on my way. My friends can’t believe what just happened – I attack someone to the ground, in what would have looked like an unprovoked attack to anyone else and instead it’s the guy who found himself on the wrong end of a shoulder charge that’s taken away to the station! Of course I’m not complaining!

I got home only to find myself locked out so I had to resort to sleeping in the garden. I then woke up a few hours later with my head spinning and puked up an entire chicken fillet burger with a lovely garnish of bile and vodka! If that wasn’t bad enough, I woke up a few hours after that with rain pissing down on me! Karma works in strange ways though!

Tags: , , , , ,
read more
Powered by WordPress. Theme: Motion by 85ideas.