I’ve failed to prove my doubters wrong! They all said I couldn’t do it and as the days, weeks and then months passed by, I slowly but surely cemented the fact that relationships and me should never be used in the same sentence! It seems as if I’m exactly where I was at the beginning of last year. Last year I was single and struggling with college yet obsessed with poker and now I find myself in an almost identical situation.
To say I’m confident with my exams would be bare-faced lie – apathetic would be far more suitable word to describe my feelings toward college in general. I just wish I knew that the results of this years exams will be what my potential work experience employers will be what they’ll be using to evaluate us. I can just imagine it now, my classmates jetting back and forth between London, Toronto and Paris and me being sent out to the industrial estate to work in a call-centre!
This time last year, I thought that me being in a successful relationship was a laughable concept, fast-forward to today and I’m thinking the exact same thing. I did manage to break through the 3 month barrier and in fact, I can always say that this was a relationship that spanned across two years but ultimately I’m all to aware that I can’t commit to something to save my life and the idea of sacrifice for the greater good still seems too pagan-esque for me to subscribe to. It will probably take a small matter of Divine Intervention for me to believe in relationships in the near future and even then I’d probably be under too much stress to notice God himself pointing me in a particular direction!
What will I be busy doing? Well, undoubtedly Poker will be one of those things. I’ve been playing for 3 years now and it’s still as big a challenge as it was when I first started. The game itself keeps evolving, whereas in 2006 you needed only know the hand rankings to be able to make money, in 2009 you need to be a competent mathematician as well as a fearless aggressor. There’s no such thing as easy money any more and perhaps it’s the challenge of trying to remain a so-called “winning player” that’s keeping me hooked. Or I’m a compulsive gambler.
You could say that I have a clean slate. Or you could argue that I’m like an old record stuck on repeat.